Talk Yourself Up, Tear Yourself Down.

I've been really busy with school, and I felt like I didn't have much important to say besides "school's the same".
Well, I finally have something interesting to say, though I wish I didn't: I got cited for my first traffic violation today.
Ok,so I was driving own the road and I saw my brother, so I started beeping at him. At first, he didn't see me, so I beeped a few more times and he finally saw me and waved. The next thing I knew, a blue car was flashing lights behind me. Freaking out, I pulled over. The cop asks me "is there any particular reason youre riding with your seatbelt tucked under your arm?" Well, that's the way I've always worn it-I didn't know it was wrong, and told him so.
Basically, he wrote me a ticket. It won't affect my license or my insurance, but I have to pay a $126 fine (which I am NOT excited about-I need that money to christmas shop :( ). At least it wasn't something more serious. But honestly: who knew that it was illegal? I didn't. That's how I took my driving test, and that's how I've been driving since I started. But oh well: let this be a lesson to all of you others out there-drive with your seatbelt OVER your arm! lol.
Other than that, some good news is that this semester is almost over, which is a relief. Next week starts exams, but I'm not too worried, since I've done pretty well all year otherwise. I'm really excited for next semester. All of my classes won't start until 11 each day, so it'll be nice to sleep in :) The classes Im taking next semester are Anatomy and Physiology II, Literature-Based Research, American History II, Interpersonal Communications and Developmental Psychology (with the last two being online). I'm excited to be doing smething new.
Well, for now I'm going to go watch AMC. Just wanted to update this, since I haven't in so long.
I'll leave this sexy man here for you to oogle at. mmmm.

Enjoy :) I know this has made me feel better after this random-as-hell day i've had.
xoox
ps. can't wait for christmas!
ill try to update again before that

Hello LJ,
I'm here to bring you something very special.  This is an essay for a scholarship that I have been working very hard on, sponsored by Cancer Monthly, a website that offers a great amount of information about the different types of cancer, treatment information and more.  This particular contest dealt with placing oneself in the shoes of a very courageous man, Mr. James "Rhio" O'Connor who fought mesothelioma with willpower and alternative therapies and survived over six years past his initial prognosis.  Writing this essay really opened my eyes to the bravery and initiative one person can posess, even when faced with impossible odds. To find out more about mesothelioma, treatment options, Rhio's story and other information, visit SurvivingMesothelioma.com .
Thank you, the reader for taking the time to read my response, and to Cancer Monthly for sponsoring the contest. Enjoy.
-Amanda Everett
 EDIT 11/12: I have been informed that I have to take the links out of my citations, so I have fixed this.

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Remembering "Rhio":
A Look At A Courageous Man's Battle Against Cancer, and How He Inspired This College Student

          When some people think of heroes, the first type that comes to mind is fictional heroes: Batman, Superman, or Spiderman, who fly around fighting crime. Others think of their favorite celebrities, showcased and applauded for using their fame to promote this charity or that cause. Very rarely do people think of the courageous human beings we are blessed to have the opportunity to spend time with; who face real life battles that make the “epic” clashes of comic book characters look like small potatoes. These are the people who are faced with cancer, and the inspiring story of one of these fantastic everyday heroes can be found in that of James “Rhio” O’Connor. 
            Mr. O’Connor was a brave man who was faced with a particularly deadly form of cancer: mesothelioma. Mr. O’Connor developed mesothelioma in the way that is most common: exposure to asbestos, a type of fiber that, when inhaled, will stick to the mucus of the cells in the mesothelium and cause damage, resulting in the growth of cancer cells (“What Are the Risk Factors for Malignant Mesothelioma?” 1-2). Like most cancers, typical treatment includes chemotherapy, radiation and surgery (“Mesothelioma: Questions and Answers” 2-3), and though prognosis depends on how early the cancer is detected, life expectancy for this cancer is quite dire, with most patients being given only about four to eighteen months to live (“Mesothelioma Life Expectancy” 1). However, instead of accepting this prognosis as a final judgment, Mr. O’Connor decided to take his treatment into his own hands. By conducting his own intensive research about mesothelioma, pursuing alternative treatments, changing his diet and working with his physicians, Mr. O’Connor was able to educate himself about his cancer and astonishingly outlive his prognosis by over six years. He went outside of the box and provided further evidence that making changes in one’s diet and by implementing supplements into one’s lifestyle can be tremendously effective in treating cancer, and can even significantly prolong life expectancy.

            Patients’ turning to alternative treatments is not unheard of when it comes to cancer, and while it can be dangerous, there are many cases where the alternative therapies helped to prolong the patient’s life. Two very notable cases include that of television actress Farrah Fawcett and American professor Randy Pausch. After becoming discouraged when chemotherapy was ineffective in treating her anal cancer, Fawcett turned to alternative treatments in Germany that lengthened her lifespan (Fleeman 1-3). Pausch, who became famous for delivering the speech The Last Lecture: Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams, also found that chemotherapy had no affect on his pancreatic cancer and experienced harsh side effects, which led him to pursue immuno-based therapies that “would presumably come with little or no side effects” (“Randy Pausch’s Update Page” 1-3).

The cases of Fawcett, Pausch and especially Mr. O’Connor are prime examples of how, with initiative and the courage to pursue alternative methods, it is possible to extend one’s own life past the expectation of physicians. If faced with cancer myself, I would take a similar course of action: after seeing the way cancer affects the patients and their families, I would want to find out as much as I could to help prepare for the battle ahead of me.

I have seen firsthand the effect that cancer can have on people’s lives. My sister in law’s mother, whom I will call “Jean”, battled colon cancer almost the whole time I knew her. A kind, sweet woman, “Jean” was the matriarch of her family, always smiling and waiting with a home-cooked meal. Even though she was suffering not only through her cancer, but with other medical problems including diabetes, she took wonderful care of those she loved. With a brave heart and a strong will, “Jean” pushed her cancer into remission. Though the remission lasted a few years, the cancer returned, stronger and more difficult to treat than the time before; the traditional treatments she had received previously, radiation and chemotherapy, were no match for the disease. It was heartbreaking to see that, even as this terrible illness was slowly draining the life from such a happy and bright woman, she still fought to care for and be there for those nearest and dearest to her. After a long battle, “Jean” passed away three years ago, and even now the effect of her death on her family is visible. With their central tie no longer present, her family has drifted apart and fallen out of contact, causing an irreparable break in what was once a steady home.

After witnessing this breakdown of a family due to the disease that has taken so many others from their loved ones, if faced with the challenges that Mr. O’Connor was I would learn as much as I could about the type of cancer I had been diagnosed with and what I could do to prolong my life, including exploring unconventional treatments. Though I would probably start by pursuing the typical treatments for my particular cancer, if the results of these treatments were not positive and my progression was not toward remission, I would decide to pursue other, less widely-used therapies. Considering the wrong course of treatment could make me deteriorate instead of improve, I would carefully consider the options by conducting further research. While I would most likely turn to research online to make my choice, I would not only rely on my own digital research: I would also look to others in my life to help me decide what to do. First and foremost, I would look to my family and friends. Since they are my primary reasons to fight for my life, I would want their input on how I should approach my treatment. I would also get the opinion of a few different doctors; with varied professional perspectives, I could be sure that I was exploring all recommended courses of treatment, as well as making sure that any alternative therapies I should choose to pursue were safe. Finally, a group whose experiences I would take into great consideration would be other cancer patients who were suffering from the same disease that I was. Though it is understood that every cancer case is different, finding out how other patients with the same disease were pursuing treatment would give me ideas for my own course of therapy, and would give me comfort knowing that there were others who were successfully living with the same disease as I.   

Cancer is a terrible adversary. Though we are making progress in the fight against this disease, cancer is winning the war by claiming so many of those that we love and care about. When faced with this daunting truth, there are many people who would accept defeat and, while they would take the suggested treatment, would not be hopeful for a positive outcome. It takes a truly proactive and strong individual like Mr. O’Connor to prove that you can be your own hero; that, even when faced with what seems like the impossible, it is possible to take control of the situation, overcome dire prognoses and define your own life.

 

References

Fleeman, Mike. "Farrah Fawcett Seeks 'Alternative' Cancer Treatment in Germany." 27 September 2007. People. 1 November 2009.

"Mesothelioma Life Expectancy." Pleural Mesothelioma. 30 October 2009.

"Mesothelioma: Questions and Answers." National Cancer Institute. 30 October 2009.

"Randy Pausch's Update Page." RandyPauschInformation. 2 November 2009.

"What Are the Risk Factors for Malignant Mesothelioma?" 17 March 2009. American Cancer Society. 30 October 2009.

 

but i'm not dead, i promise! just busy.
school is really great, i love it a lot. i dont like getting up early, but i love the rest of it in general. My classes are as I expected them to be: English is easy, Intro to Computers is so easy it makes my brain hurt, Algebra isn't hard-it's actually a nice escape, and Anatomy is kicking my ass, but I still love it.
I've gotten really into watching/buying movies lately.  Some that I've seen lately, both old and new, that I can think of are Zombieland, Inglourious Basterds, Urban Legend, American Psycho, Alpha Dog, Where the Wild Things Are, and others I can't think of. All are fantastic in their own ways, I reccomend all of them. Honestly, it doesn't take much to satisfy me when it comes to films.  I have really low standards; as long as it's not hella boring or completely out there, I'll have at least decent feelings towards it. The only films I can think of right now that I absolutely hated were I Heart Huckabees and Top Dog. yuck.
It's about time I dyed my hair again.  In need of an appointment.
Ooh, some great news: in two orthodontist appointments, my braces will be off! :D I'm so excited! I've had braces for almost four goddamn years now, I'm ready to say goodbye to these bitches. My next appointment is November...sometime, and since the appointments are usually about 6 weeks apart, I'll probablhy have them off in January. Which is good, but I wish I could have them off by the new year, but oh well. I'm just glad to finally be getting rid of them.
Moving on to my soaps: I can't believe Adam killed Stuart....well, ok, I believe it because people have been calling it for months, lol. And I'm sad Claudia's leaving GH, but as long as we get to keep sexy ass Dante and Johnny, I can live with it, rofl.
Oh! And I FINALLY have TV IN MY ROOM. I'm so happy, I never have to miss any of my primetimes shows again, which have grown to include House, Glee, Modern Family, Grey's Anatomy, and Private Practice.
Well, I better go. I have a quiz on the Spinal Cord model in Anatomy tomorrow and I want to study. I'm really committed to doing well in that class...it's really challenging, and I love it.
I'm going to try to be better about updating this. 
I promise.

oh, gosh, so much to say.
1.  I HAVE A CAR, and I loves it:

2. I have my license! I passed my driving test :D
3. My hair was dyed and cut last Tuesday, so I'm feelin fly again, lol.  I haven't taken any pictures yet, but I hope to soon.
4. College started today.  It was fun so far...Math is...well, Math, English is gonna be fun, and Computers is going to be a lickety split.  Sux that I have to be there til 5 tomorrow though. Damn you Anatomy :((((
Well, I have other stuff to do just now, I'll try to update again soon with more in-depth things to say.
xoox

and vacation was a blast!
I did all kinds of awesome things: hiked, swam (or is it swum? w/e), went to WonderWorks, and most importantly, shopped, lol.
It was gorgeous there and I took alot of pictures, and as soon as I get ahold of all of the ones I took, I'll have them uploaded somewhere (probably my deviantart).
So, what is there to talk about....
I've been practicing driving! I'm getting way better. :) I want to try to take my driving test a week from monday, so I can at least have my license a little bit before i have to drive to school. Mostly, I just need to work on getting the feel of the brake pedal, so everyone in the car doesn' lurch forward when I stop, lol.
I'm getting my hair dyed next thursday! :D I'm so excited. It was originally for Tuesday, but the girl who does it had to reschedule.  I cant wait to get rid of this long-ass mop, lol.
I've been struggling with doing my makeup when i wear contacts, and idk why.  Like, the way I do it when I wear my glasses, it doesn't look bad.  But if i do it the same way with the contacts, I look super scary and ghoulish.   I'm working on making it look better, but...idk.  /dilemma
I've been working on updating my twitter more often. if you have one, follow me:
http://twitter.com/heartriot
And, one more thing before I try to get some other shit done before it's time for my soaps: I've been trying to find funny gifs/pictures/macros.  Anyone have any really good ones/know where I can find them? I've been scouring ONTD,  but we haven't had many big party posts in awhile, so there hasn't been alot to choose from, haha.  Any help would be appreciated. :D
xoox

so, here i am again!
ive been really busy lately. I went driving last week, and I'm getting better! I've gotten alot better at turning and staying on my side of the road. the thing i really need to work on is going the speed limit...i get to around 35 mph and i feel like i'm going too fast, lol.  but with a little more practice, i'll be ready for in-town driving! sweet. ^-^
This weekend Ashley and I went to the movies to see The Proposal (which makes this like, the third week in a row that we've gone to the movies, lol).  It was really good! I was suprised with how much I liked it.  Going to the movies is like, one of my favorite pasttimes; we go so often that we know like, everyone who works in the Gateway Cinema, lol.  It's fun, though.
I decided to try to get into some new shows over the summer, so I've been watching this:

I finished season 1 last night and was shitting bricks by the time it was over, lol.  I'm moving on to Season 2 today.  Anyone else watch?
I've also been on the search for a job. Still no luck so far :( but I did put in an application at Farm Fresh the other day that I really hope to hear back on.  I'd like to work there.  Cashiering is my calling, lol.
I want to get a haircut.  I've been experimenting with different products and styles, but it's just boiling down to the fact that my hair is way too long.  It's starting to be hard to brush, and that's when I know it's time to cut it, haha.  I really wish my hair could be as luscious and pretty when it's long as Holly Marie Combs':

But I have no clue what to do to my hair to make it look like that.  Any clues on how to get that kind of look?
And, one last thing: I'm going on vacation from Thursday to Monday of this week.  I'm going to Tennessee with Ashley and her grandparents.  I'm really excited! I still have alot of packing to do. But, this also means that I will not be updating then either :(  But I'll post lots of pics when I get back, and I'll try to update again before I leave.
Well, I guess that's it for now. 
xoox

So, I GOT MY PERMIT! I'm so glad that I finally got it. the test was super easy, i'm glad i studied the book as much as i did, lol. I practiced driving on the way home that day (thursday) and...well, let's just say i need ALOT more practice before I go back for my license, lol. I'm going to try to go out driving with my mom later, if she'll ever wake up. ugh.
Oh, and I also got my new phone! It's been so long since I had a proper phone, idk what to do with myself, lol. It's an LG enV 2, and I love it sfm. It's so great to go from a phone that had like, a 20 minute battery life to one that I last charged on friday night and still have 3/4 bars. life is grand.
And, I went to see HP6 on Saturday. While there are some things I wasn't happy about (such as the lack of Dumbledore's funeral and no big battle as the DE left the castle after Dumbledore was killed), overall I found the film pretty amazing. They've been really trying, these past few films, to incorporate humor into the films, and this is the first of the films that the humor really seemed to fit. It seemed to simply fly by, and I really wish I could go see it again. The way I feel at this point, as the franchise is coming to an end, I'm just glad to be there to enjoy what's left of it, whether the films are good, bad, or otherwise.
I'm anxiously awaiting the 22nd. That's when we order books for classes, which makes me happy. Even though I bitched about school all the time, I'm really looking forward to getting back into the routine of SOMETHING. It might as well be school.
Also, totally can't wait for House in the fall.

Well, I guess that's all I got for now.  Try to update again soon.
xoox

So, I haven't blogged in a hell of a long time.  A lot has happened...here are some of the highlights I can think of atm.
-Obvs, I graduated, lol.  Graduation was awesome and sad, blah blah blah.
-I turned 18! ~Adulthood feels just like teenage-hood.
-I've been applying for jobs, and interviewed for a position as a part-time photographer at the local picture studio the other week.  It went well, and I'm waiting to hear back on that one.
-I haven't been completely devoid of LJ.  I've been over at ONTD, where much epic-ness has gone down. il that place <3
-I've been studying to get my permit, then my license.  I go for the permit test tomorrow...wish me luck!
-I recently purchased the new Green Day CD, and the Pinhead Gunpowder compilation.  Both are amazing.
-I've been doing college stuff.  I think I might have posted my class list already...ohwell.  I'll look through my entries and have a more in-depth college post later on in the week or something.  Class starts August 24th, just like regular-school! lol.
-I've joined a shitload of those survey sites, where you take the surveys and they send you $$.  I figured, since all I used to do was do the surveys for myspace, so why not do that and get paid? lol
-And, most importantly, last but not least, MY LJ TURNED TWO YEARS OLD ON JULY 8TH. AND I MISSED IT. :((( So,

Or, a high school student at all, for that matter.
How do I feel?
....I dont really know.
This day seemed so far away back in January.It seemed like graduation would never arrive, and now it has, and...idk.  I'm happy to be moving on and starting my life, but I'm sad beyond belief at the same time.  Like, I'm going to miss going to school every day, and being in the auditorium, having lunch with my friends...it's just super depressing to know that it's all over. 
I can't talk long, because I have to start getting ready soon, but I just was standing here, waving my nails and waiting for them to dry, and came to the realization that in less than four hours, I'll be officially done with public school and on to the harder and more difficult sections of life.  I thought I should mark the milestone with a ill-timed and badly-though-out blog, so here it is.
my last blog as a PQ pirate.
<3

lol, no i dont. im just listening to Green Day, and that's the lyric i'm at. lolol
anyways, i just thought i'd update and say, guess what? I got contacts! I thought I would never do it, but I finally did, and I'm happy with them.  I still wear my glasses for the majority of the time at home, but I like wearing the contacts out places.  Which, don't get me wrong, I still love my glasses and I wear them with pride: they give me ~character.  But I've always wanted to try contacts, and now that I have them, I'm glad I finally did it.
I totally got some people the first time I wore them to school though. They'd be like "omg your glasses where are they?" and i'd grab my face and go "omg where'd they go! holy shit!" and they were all concerned, but once they realized i was just bullshitting them they were like omg! it was funny. a stupid joke, but ohwell, lol.  In hindsight, it would have been funny to like, run into walls and shit.  Even though that's not really funny, it'd be kind of loltastic to bounce off of walls on purpose and then ~reveal that I had the contacts.  Maybe that's just me? Okay. Moving on.
Graduation is two weeks from tomorrow, and I'm freaking out, kind of.  I felt like I had so much more time, back in like, February. And now it's all gone, and I have whiplash.  But I won't think about that now. dnw to depress myself with that.
Well, I would write more, but my CD is almost over and I need to start getting ready for bed soon. bleh.
xoox

Ok, this is going to sound a bit pathetic, but I feel the need to get it out, so here I go.
So, we got yearbooks yesterday. They look great, and the staff did a great job.  But as I found myself flipping through it, with the exception of the Drama and Senior pages...I'm not really anywhere.  Not that I've ever been exactly a yearbook staple-I've grown used to not seeing myself in it alot.  But, I guess because it's my senior year, and probably the last year I'll ever have a yearbook...it just bothered me.  Not that it's anyone's fault, I'm not saying that.  It just kind of...hit me...how unsignificant my high school career has been.  I mean, I made friends, I was involved in things, and I've been a good student.  But you wouldn't really know that, based on this.  And I know, it's not supposed to be a personal thing...I just feel like I cheated myself.  Like I wasn't important enough to be really remembered. And another thing that bothered me; ever since my freshman year, I've imagined how MY senior year would be, and how I would have my own Senior Page and that that would make it all worth it.  It would be a validation of "hell yes, you put in 13 years of blood, sweat and tears and so here's this page that recognizes all of the bullshit you went through, and how you came out on the other side with people who care about you and respect you."  But, time slipped by too fast, and by the time we had the money to do it, it was too late, and I find myself feeling even more inferior than before.  Looking back on it now, my Senior Year has been, in all honesty, pretty shitty. I spent my whole first semester sitting in front of a computer and not seeing any of my friends, and this semester has just gone way too fast.  It's just...I feel like I wasted it.  And at this point, I never thought I'd feel that way, but I really, really do.  And the worst part? There's nothing I can really do about it at this point. 
I know that this is all really selfish and stupid.  But I had to vent somewhere, and it's hard to verbally express this to anyone to make it make sense.
xoox.

well, I know it's been awhile since I posted, but here I am!
Ok, so, to reply to the last post I made: my presentation went great! I know that I passed Grad Project and all the parts, and that's fantastic :D haha.
Let's see...I've had alot going on lately.  The most important thing that I can think of is that I signed up for classes at COA today! Or, at least, I started the process.  I had to take a placement test, and I passed it, but I have to take *another* placement test to take certain classes.  It's a math one, but I don't think it'll be that bad.  The one today was pretty easy.  I got a 43 out of 50 on it! which is good, haha.  Looks to me like I'm taking:
Anatomy and Phyysiology I
Expository Writing
 Basic PC Literacy
and probably a theatre class, which I don't technically need, but I really want to take a class with Shannon Jones, so I'll try to put one in my schedule. The rest of the classes were taken care of by my Dual Enrollment classes I took this year, which is pretty awesome, since I basically took them for free. :) haha. More on that soon, I hope.
I finished Psych! I got an A. :D And I will be finishing up with my other classes soon.
I've been reading alot of plays that I'm borrowing from Beck.  They're actually quite good.  Just finished The Sweetest Swing In Baseball, which I really liked.  Rebecca Gilman is a really good playwright.
Well, almost time for House.  Will update again soon, hopefully with something longer and more substantial!
<3

presentations are tomorrow, and i'm so incredibly nervous it's unbearable.
i've got that feeling like someone just gave me like, a caffeine shot, and now my hands won't stop shaking.
it's like....I know that I know what I'm talking about.  And I know that I'm as well-prepared as I can get.
I've practiced in class, I've practiced for my bff, and I practiced like, a billion times tonight.  I'm printing my notes and handouts now, I turned in my binder today....I just feel like I'm forgetting something. Or that something's going to go really wrong.
idk. I just feel really paranoid. 
Please, say a prayer for me.  I'll need it, I'm so nervous.
I'll try to update this tomorrow about how it went, but I can't make any promises bc I'm going to the movies tomorrow night with Ashley to see A Haunting In Connecticut, and idk when we'll get back.
So, think of me around 11:30 tomorrow morning.  I'll be melting to a puddle of nervous goo in front of four old and smart people. yikes.
<333

i can't believe spring break is almost, dare i say it, over already?it's already thursday...i wish it lasted longer.
so, i haven't gotten up to much since I last wrote. Honestly, I'm only updating bc I don't feel like writing my Psych paper. Or any of my reflections. lol
Today I had an orthodontist appointment where I had all the bottom brackets replaced. it wasn't fun, but at least I'm that much closer to getting them off.  Another 6 months, baby!
Can I just say how much I LOVE this fierce bitch:

She's definitely my new comedic idol.  My mom doesn't like her, but Ashley and I think she's absolutely HILARIOUS! Her comedy specials were on Bravo like, all day yesterday, and she is hilarious as fuck.  And plastic surgery looks good on her, lol.  Again, LOVE her. Fierce.
And I don't even really watch American idol anymore, but what the actual fuck at them saving Matt Giraud, or whatever? That's fucked.  He's terrible, I'm sorry, but he is.  I'm so angry that they waster their save on him.  Ohwell, though; like I said, I don' really watch it anymore. It's fucked, anyways.
Let's see...tomorrow, me and my mom are (hopefully) going to breakfast, and then I'm going shopping for dress clothes.  Then, later, Ashley's coming back. Sounds like a plan!
Well, I'm off to FINALLY start my paper and stuff.
<33

so, Spring Break started! *dances* and so far i am enjoying it immensely. I haven't done a whole bunch...but that's the enjoyable part! hahaha.
We got out on Thursday, and as always, picked Ashley up from school.  We went to see Monsters vs. Aliens on Friday, and it was really good.  I didn't know til we got there that my TV love Hugh Laurie was in it! haha.  I was expecting Dr. Cockroach to become human, and be with Susan.  But ohwell, I thought the movie was good. And fucking a, we FORGOT TO WATCH DOLLHOUSE AGAIN.  I love that show, but the week before, aka the week of the play, I wasn't home, and the week before that, I was at Frog and Toad.  So I keep missing it and making myself angry, because I really love that show.  I'm going to try to remember to watch it this week. I might have to set an alarm on my phone to remember...not that that will do much good, because my phone battery is SO fucked.  It doesn't hold a charge for shit.  Like, I can leave it off all day at school, but when I turn it on to make a call, I don't even get a word in before the battery's dead.  It's quite unnerving...I guess it's almost time to either replace the battery, or (hopefully) replace the phone (I've been wanting an LG Scoop for a long time now...maybe it's time I got one! haha)
Then Saturday, we went to a party over at my mom's friend Ashley's (not to be cofused with my bff Ashley) and had lunch and watched the little kids Easter Egg Hunt.  Then, (my) Ashley had to go home for Easter the next day, andso I spent Saturday night staying up late and catching up on my soaps (and I did it! I was so proud of..me, lol). Oh, and Eric and Amy brought over baby Lilly, Tiffany and Aimee; it was fun visiting with them.  On Sunday,  I spent time with the family, had lasagna (omnomnom) and got my easter basket, which was filled with yummies and other stuff.  And I half-watched The Prestige. It was pretty good-I mean, who can complain about Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale, right? But it was confusing as hell, probably bc the key word is half-watched it.  lol.  I'll have to re-watch it sometime *adds it to my movielist*
Then, Ashley came back yesterday and since then we've been just hanging out, watching tv and movies, and playing online.
Im still quite disgruntled about House, but I guess I'll get over it.  Like I said, I'll keep watching til either it ends, or they put House and Cuddy together. eugh.
And as far as my soaps go....
-AMC: I'm, again, disgruntled at the fact that Zendall appears to be over.  But, I do love Jake and Amanda, and I hope her bb ends up being his instead of Jake's.  I hope Little A ends up in JR's custody instead of David's. 
-OLTL: Haven't been into it much, but Stacey is a bitch, I'm glad Starr didn't get raped by Rosen bc she would have just been whining about it and I'm tired of the teen scene being front and center, and I can't believe Jared and Natalie destroyed the evidence that Chloe is Hope. Now I remember why I stopped watching it.
-GH: Absolutely love Claudia, even though she's evil.  Didn't really want Michael to be aged, but what can you do? I hope Carly's pregnant.  Scrubs' relationship is starting to annoy me; Robin always wanted the baby, but ever since Emma was born she's been avoiding her like she's got the plague, and Patrick's left holding the (diaper) bag.  I hope they dont split :( I hope this whole Claudia-being-involved in Michael's-shooting gets resolved soon.  Tired of it dragging.
I can't believe Spring Break's already halfway over... :( I still have to write my self paper, practice my presentation, and read End Game, so I didn't just take it on Thursday from English to let it chill on my floor the whole break, and I'd hate to have taken it for nothing, lol.
Well, I'm off to probably go to bed.
btw, loving Lady Gaga lately.
<333

WTF was up with this week's House? Am I the only one insanely angry about what happened this week? Kutner was my favorite, besides House :(((((( So I'm pissed. And all because KP wants to go work for the Obama administration...le sigh.
Moving on.  I promised to update again soon, and here I am! I'm waiting for It Happened One Night to load again. MAYBE i'll get to finish it tonight, and FINALLY get back to watching my soaps <333
So, I got my SAT scores back.  Altogether, I got an 1860, which everyone tells me is good, so I'll trust them, haha.
And I'm almost done with my grad project! :D I've got my paper written, just waiting for Beck to give back the last few sections so I can make whatever changes needed by Wednesday, which is when the FINAL paper is due.  Which is, consequently, the same day we get out for Spring Break! :D But right after we come back, we have to present that Wednesday D: I'm not worried though.  I only got two 3's on my practice presentation (which as fails), and one was for improper "attire" (we have to dress up, but god knows I wasn't going to dress up for a practice presentation, lol), and for loudness, which I'll do fine on when I actually present-at least I hope so.  So I'm not too worried.
But other than that, I'm pretty much done. I finished up my product and everythin; now I just have to get little things done, like finish the reflections and get my advisor to sign shit. woop woop!
You know, when I started this project in January, it seemed so overwhelming.  Now, it's like "....I'm almost done? Really?" haha.  I'm so gald it's almost over already. :)
Well,  I'm really tired.  I know, once again, I have more to say, but I don't feel like writing anymore, so I'm going to go play MahJong and wait for this damn movie.
Who's excited for Spring Break? *raises hand*
xoox

So, once again, alot has happened since I updated last.
The most important being the fact that I performed in my last production in high school.  Going into it, I didn't think I'd be sad about it, but when the time came to go up and accept my "senior rose", I was really choked up.  Sure, I've bitched about it alot, but I don't what I'm going to do at a whole new stage next year.  I'm going to miss stripping with all my drama friends (lol); I'm going to miss sitting backstage and watching everyone else, stressing when my next part is, and if I'm confident in all my lines; I'm going to miss holding hands with my castmates during every pre-show "cast circle"; and, in general, I'm going to miss the stage.  I know it might sound weird, but I've spent the better part of the last three years having class on that stage, working on production stuff (sets, costumes, and props), and most importantly, performing there.  That stage was the first place where I felt confident in myself - I'm a completely different, more confident creature when I'm on stage.  People who have known me for years, and even my family, told me numerous times on Thursday and Friday, "I didn't know you HAD that side of you.  You're like a different person!" And that's a good thing.  Being an actress has made so many parts of my life easier than they were before; I'm a more confident public speaker, I'm more outgoing...
After the show on Friday, I went out to take pictures with my family still in costume, and all of these little kids wanted to hug me. They were like "OMG! THE QUEEN!" And seeing the excitement that they got in their little faces, just because I, some nerdy high school senior, took two seconds to reach down and hug them, is an indescribable feeling.  
Acting has made me feel like a somebody.
And while there are some things to look forward to, going to perform at COA next year (a more serious "do it" attitude, and a ~fair chance), it won't be the same experience without some of the people I've bonded with over the past three years, especially this girl:

 

she's been right with me throughout my whole acting experience.  I was her first friend here, and il her so much.  Thinking about her not being there with me, making jokes, being bitchy, and just being...us, makes me utterly depressed.
Ok, I have to talk about something else now.  I don't want to cry, I've been managing to control it pretty well.
Here's a picture of me after the show friday with my mom, stepdad and my brother, i think its really qt:

The only other person missing from this picture is my very best friend, Ashley, who took every picture that I have from the past few years of being in Theatre.  Without her, I would have nothing to look back on, physically, from the past few years, and I can't thank her enough for securing these things for me.  Unfortunately, sine she takes all of the pictures, she's never in any of them.  :(((( so i have no pictures with her from this night, which REALLY bums me out.  But I'll just have to remember from now on to make sure I take pictures with her on nights like this! We take so many together anyways, though, there's none lacking, haha. 
btw, I have more pictures up on my myspace of the play.
I want to take the time right now to thank the people in my life who came to watch me on these two incredibly important nights of my life, including Ashley (my bff), my Mom, my stepdad, Barry (my brother), Kathy (ashley's mom), Ashley P. (a family friend), and last but not least and the newest members of my extended family, Amy and little Lilly (my stepbrother's girlfriend and their new baby, respectively).  It means so much to me that all of you were there for me, and I won't forget it.
Well, I have other things I could say, but I think this is too important of a milestone to clutter it with miscellaneous bullshit.  I'll update again soon.
xoox

I'm so excited! I finished my research paper this weekend, AND i did my product presentation thing that I have to do.  So now, all I have to do is make sure all of my logs are caught up (as far as advisor logs, etc.) and make my presentation for the judges, and I am fucking DONE, professionally, with this Graduation Project.  It's so weird to think that this time two months ago, I was stressing about it, and now I'm almost done already.  It's a really big...weight, that's just being lifted off of my shoulders.  After April 22nd, it'll just be smooth sailing til June.  Can't wait. :D
Have you ever had a REALLY awkward dream about someone who's really....awkward? I have.  And it's weird, bc I'm like "but i don't even find them a little bit attractive....?" it's really...strange.  I just hope it never happens again, because....errr.
anyways, movingon.
Cinderella is in less than two weeks! I know all of my lines (for the most part), so I'm not really that worried about it.  Even though there are some things that we practiced for the first time like, last week....ohwell.  The sooner it's over, the better.  It's just been on a slippery downhill shit-slope since we started.  If it wasnt for Savannah, I'd probably jump off of the stairs or something, idk. :p ohwell. the sooner it's over, the sooner i can be in the COA productions, where everthing's an even playing field. there's some things ill miss about our drama dept at pq, but there are certain things i DEFINITELY willnot. :\
Anyways.  I'm in the middle of watching Sunset Blvd.  for Masterpieces of Cinema, and the next part just loaded, so I'm checking out to go watch it. Man, Norma is a crazy bitch.
But one more thing: EVERYONE GO CHECK OUT MY BIFFLE ASHLEY'S NEW WEB SITE.  It features her photography, blends, wallpapers, writing, etc.  She just uploaded it, but it's already awesome. Click the button below to go there.

xoox

omg! its been SO long since I updated. over a month...that's really sad.
I've been SO busy between this Graduation Project and Cinderella practice.
Let's see....what's happened that's exciting since my last update?
Well, I got a whole new bedroom, basically.  I have a new bed (that's utterly fabulous and super comfy), a dresser, a new TV, and a bookcase.  It's awesome.  I spend almost all of my spare time in my bed (if you know what i mean ;) ....ahaha, jk). 
Unfortunately, I haven't had a lot of spare time thanks to this project.  ugh.  My final topic is Stage Makeup.  I know it sounds lame, but it's actually working out quite well. I got three pages of the paper done with just one section, and i have six sections to write about, lol. I've finished my Personal Discovery Collection, and by Wednesday I will be done with my Job Shadowing Collection. woop woop! Which basically means that all I have left to do are my Paper and my Product, besides my Presentation of course, and both of those are moving along quite nicely.  I have a lesson plan for my product all in place, and the basic skeleton of my powerpoint that I plan to use for it laid out. 
Job shadowing has a been an interetsing experience, and it's been fun to see what I have in store for me next year in COA's productions.
Unfortuantely, though, spending alot of time at COA's practices has forced me to be away from Cinderella practices, and our production is less than a month away now. :\ but ohwell. I have alot of my lines learned, and by the time I go back next week I'll have them memorized.
What's coming up for me? Well, I have to go accept this scholarship on Thursday (lucky me!), only I can't remember how much it's for....lol.  And then, Saturday, I take the SAT. yikes.  I'm kind of nervous, but I'm confident that I'll do well.
Well, there's so much more i COULD write about, but I only set aside a certain amount of time to update this.  I just wanted to let everyone know I'm still alive! haha.  Hopefully I'll remember to update this more often now that I'm getting a pretty good handle on this Grad Project stuff.
Hope everyone's doing well!
xoox

*phew* I know, it keeps being FOREVER since I update. This new semester, including Senior Project, is proceeding to kick my ass, lol.
My new classes arent too bad.  We havent gotten alot of work started really, but theyre moving right along.
Well, I take that back.  I've already gotten alot of work in English IV, with that God-Awful Senior Project.  I mean, Ill suck it up and get over it and just do the damn thing, but its just gonna be SO MUCH WORK.  Ill do it, but ugh.  Whoever came up with this concept needs to be punched in the mouth.  I turned in my proposal draft today, and I hope I get good feedback on it.  I go to see Mrs. Jones tomorrow to have her sign some forms (shes going to be my Mentor), so thats good.
Cinderella Practice is going well.  The songs arent too bad, and the scenes arent terrible either.
I got my report card today.  I got 2 98s, a 99 and a 100. not bad, huh? :p
Well, I gotta go work on this stupid project, and get some sleep.  I have more I need to say, but itll have to wait.
xoox
ps. sorry for the lack of apostrophes, that button is stuck on my keyboard :(
and p.p.s if someone happens to show up from the a7xg comm over at IJ, hi! and see, i do update, plz dont lock me out :)